节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-12-20
难易度:Medium
关键字:polish, tension, denote, retort, assure, friction, erode, clone
Welcome back, everybody.
Have you ever heard this phrase, "A kind word turns away wrath, but a harsh word
stirs up anger"?
That saying is as true today as when it was written 3,000 years ago.
When you understand that your choice of words, the tone of your voice and your
body language have power to create peace or conflict,
to build someone up or tear someone down, then you're really on your way to
improving your relationships.
OK. Let's continue to see what happens when good manners are a part of our
communication on line 15.
Polishing Your Manners Can Improve Relationships.
"No way, I told you I'm staying late at work all week," Dad retorts.
"The boss is breathing down my neck.
What do you expect me to do - clone myself?".
Using manners would ratchet up this conversation to a different level of respect
if it went something along these lines:
"Honey, I need you to pick up the kids from school today," says Mom.
"I would like to," Dad assures her.
"But, don't you remember that I have to stay late at work all this week?".
Friends, we are currently giving you an example that you might be able to
identify with that shows you how hurtful behavior can actually erode a
relationship.
That's right. We're going to look at a conversation.
And it starts with Mom saying: Honey, I need you to pick up the kids from school
today.
And it just says "says Mom," which means it's said pretty normally.
How did Dad respond?
Dad says: No way, I told you I'm staying late at work all week.
That's how he retorts.
OK, so Ryan said this very in a retorting way.
Can you finish this... what Dad says with the same tone of voice?
OK. And then we'll define "retorts." OK.
And he continues saying: The boss is breathing down my neck.
What do you expect me to do - clone myself?
And that is what a retort would sound like.
Good job, Ryan.
Thanks.
OK. So a "retort," let's go define that word.
To "retort" means to answer someone in a quick and very angry way.
So sometimes if your parents ask you, "Have you finished your homework?" you
would retort: Of course, I finished my homework.
Exactly. Usually retorts are used when people are arguing with each other.
And of course, people usually only argue when they're not getting along.
And a retort is never a good thing.
You don't want to retort anyone.
It's... it's mean.
And you don't want to be retorted because then you've just got hurt.
Now Kaylah, the Dad said that the boss is breathing down his neck.
What does that phrase mean?
Well, when someone is breathing down your neck, that does not actually mean that
they are standing behind you breathing air on the back of your neck.
Instead it means they need something from you quickly and are really, really,
really pressuring you to do it fast.
It's as if they're standing behind you waiting for you to finish.
And especially at work, this can cause a lot of stress.
Exactly. So the Dad is stressed, and so he's speaking with a very negative tone.
And he tells the mother: What do you expect me to do - clone myself?
Now I think a lot of us would probably be guilty of thinking or saying this at
some point.
When we feel like so many different people want us to do so many different
things, we don't feel like we're enough.
And that's because... you know, "cloning" it means to make a copy of yourself,
to make an identical copy, so.
Ryan, can you help us explain when people want a lot from you, why would you
say: I need... do you want me to clone myself?
Well, because that father here, in this case, thinks he can not do everything by
himself.
So he says: Well, maybe you should just make another me to do all those other
tasks so I can keep doing what my boss wants.
That's right.
But because he's using this statement in a retort, it's actually very mean.
So... really, let's read through this conversation and see what using manners
can do for us.
Exactly. Using manners would ratchet up this conversation to a different level
of respect if it went something along these lines.
Now before we give you the example, we're going to define some of these words.
OK, to ratchet something up.
Now a ratchet is actually a kind of construction tool that is often used to
crank or to turn something to either tighten it or to make it go higher.
So if you're going to ratchet up something, that means you are making it better
and taking it to a new level of respect.
Yeah. There's another English idiom, Kaylah, that says "let's take it to the
next step" or "take it to the next level," and that's exactly what this means.
That's right.
So we're wanting to take our conversation of adding so much more respect that it
goes to a new level of respect.
So let's revisit this conversation with Mom:
"Honey, I need you to pick up the kids from school today," says Mom.
OK. It's the same thing.
And then Dad says, "I would like to," as he assures her.
But, don't you remember that I have to stay late at work all week?
This is completely different.
We see that Dad assures her.
What does it mean to assure someone?
If you "assure" someone, that means that you tell someone confidently that
something is true.
OK. So... it's especially to help them not worry, not just that "Hey, it's
true," it's to comfort them.
Maybe you would assure a child that they are safe in their bed at night.
So Dad is assuring Mom.
This is being polite and respecting her concerns and her needs while still
letting her know that he's stuck at the office late and can't help her.
Right. He says: I would love to help you. Don't worry about that, but I already
promised I'd be at work.
Now this is much more polite, and we'll continue to explain how you can be more
polite in your relationships.
But right now, let's watch the skit.
(Music).
Huh.
Our relationship has tension.
Yes. And it's caused by someone using a negative tone of voice.
You!
No, you!
No, you!
All I said was: Honey, I need you to pick up the kids from school today.
And I said no way.
I told you I'm staying late at work all week.
And then you retorted: The boss is breathing down my neck.
Do you expect me to clone myself?
Well, do you?
No. But I expect you to have good manners.
Good manners.
They work magic.
Good manners?
Yes.
Like what?
Well, you should behave nicely, speak thoughtfully, and use a pleasing voice,
one that... one that denotes respect.
OK. You're right.
I'm sorry.
Can we try it again?
Sure.
Honey, I need you to pick up the kids from school today.
Oh. I would really, really love to.
But, don't you remember, sweetheart?
I have to stay late at work all this week.
I'm so sorry.
That's right.
Well, I'll pick up the kids.
You work so hard.
You're a wonderful husband.
And you're a wonderful wife.
Oh, honey. You have such good manners.
Yes, I know.
(Music).
Hi, everyone. I'm Michelle.
(Chinese).
And I guess that's all the time we have for today.
I'll see you soon. Bye-bye.
You know, manners aren't something that we inherit automatically from our
parents.
They need to be learned.
Behavior experts say by the time kids reach nine years old, they should have
most of the basic manners in place.
For example, they should know cover your mouth when you sneeze, say "please" and
"thank you." And when you walk through a door,
look to see if you can hold it for someone behind you.
Friends, tomorrow we'll continue looking at how polishing your manners can
improve your relationships and more.
Until then, speak some English and be polite.
Have a great day.