节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-12-21
难易度:Medium
关键字:promotion, mover and shaker, lavish, prevalent, mortify, ostracize
Hi, friends.
Thanks for joining us here at Studio Classroom Worldwide.
My name is Steve.
This month we're taking a little brush up course on manners and why they matter.
Our deck says: It never hurts to be polite at home and in public.
In other words, no matter what situation we're in, we can always help ourselves
and the situation by being polite.
Now that sentence in its negative form is also true.
It always hurts us when we're impolite at home and in public.
Let's open our magazines to page 37 and see some examples of how good manners
help and how bad manners hurt.
Polishing Your Manners Can Improve Relationships.
Good manners make you more desirable in circles that include people of power.
If you have poor manners that include judging others harshly, you may get passed
over for promotions at work.
It's likely, also, that you'll be excluded at times from social events for those
who are movers and shakers in your community.
No one is going to invite you along to an event whereby your behavior becomes an
embarrassment to the one who invited you.
"I have a friend visiting me from the Southwest," says an attorney we'll call
James.
"He puts his foot in his mouth 10 times a day.".
Hello, friends.
Thank you so much for joining us here in the studio.
My name is Kaylah.
My name is Ryan.
Friends, we are talking how improving and polishing your manners can improve
your relationships.
That's right.
Now yesterday we started talking about how your voice, your tone of voice is so
important that you can tell someone the same information,
but how you say it is so much more important than what you're saying.
Now we started looking at a conversation between a fictional Mom and Dad
character to describe and to give us an example of what tone of voice can do.
That's right.
Now in the first conversation, we saw that Dad responded very angry; and he
retorted.
He said: What do you expect me to do - clone myself?
And then in the second conversation, he said the exact same thing.
He said he couldn't pick up the kids from school, but he was very kind and
polite about it.
That's right.
You need to be... you need to be so careful with how you're saying things.
Use manners because as soon as you're hurtful, you're causing friction in a
relationship.
And it can erode those people you've been around for so long.
So make sure you're an assuring kind of person and kind.
Exactly.
Now beyond just married people and marriage relationships, good manners can
actually make you more desirable in circles that include people of power.
Interesting, not just in personal relationships, but also in work and business
relationships.
Now we're talking about people of power.
Now these are not people who are extremely strong.
These are people who have really big influence - so maybe really good
businessmen or doctors or people that are respected in the community.
And you want to be included in a circle of these kinds of people.
Exactly. And a circle of people is simply a group or a category of people.
For example, in a circle of people at your office that have power might be your
boss and your supervisor.
Yeah. That's right, and their bosses and their supervisors.
These other people of power.
Now if you have poor manners, that can include judging others harshly, you may
get passed over for promotions at work.
So we're still talking about a work environment.
You need to make sure that you don't get passed over.
Exactly. And to avoid being passed over for things like promotions, you need to
make sure that you don't judge other people harshly.
What does it mean if you do something harshly?
"Harshly" means very quickly, without thinking about it, and it's usually done
out of anger, frustration, fear, and it comes across as extremely mean.
Yeah, so don't judge people like that.
And if you do, you might get passed over for promotions.
A "promotion" means you get a better position at your current job.
OK. Promotion, you get a better position, often you get more pay for having that
better position at work.
"You don't want to get passed over." That means they don't include you.
Exactly, so.
If you want a promotion, don't judge harshly.
Now it's also likely that you'll be excluded at times from social events for
those who are movers and shakers.
It's also... it's like you will be "excluded," that means you are not invited or
included in the events and activities.
And you do want to be included with these movers and shakers in your community.
That's right.
People who are "movers and shakers," that simply means people in power and
control.
That's right.
It's people with influence.
So if we said the circle of people of power, these people of power would also be
the same circle as the movers and shakers.
It's an idiom we use.
It doesn't mean they're actually shaking.
But it means they have a goal, they're doing well.
They're... they're powerful.
Their influence is working.
And these are the kinds of people in your community you want to be involved
with.
Yeah. They're getting things done.
And they can help you, and actually, well, get you to higher positions yourself.
Hey, fantastic.
If you want to improve at work, change your manners.
OK. Well, no one is going to invite you along to an event whereby your behavior
becomes an embarrassment to the one who invited you.
This is so true.
Your friends are not going to invite you to an event if you're going to
embarrass them.
Nobody likes to be embarrassed.
So have good manners because you don't want to... to make this other person feel
uncomfortable.
Ryan, there's a really cool word in here.
Said it was whereby.
Exactly.
Now this word here is used to describe the location that something might happen
at and when even it might happen at.
So they're saying that if you come along to this event, if you are an
embarrassment and you have poor behavior, that is happening at that event, so.
If you go to that event, whereby you act that way, that is when it would happen.
Ryan, we're going to look in a second at a... of an example of this.
Do you have any events where you took a friend that you got embarrassed by them?
Ooh, I do.
I introduced someone to my group of friends.
And they were extremely rude and said some horrible things and embarrassed me.
Yes.
Oh. It's so embarrassing when you try to... you're trying to be nice and include
someone new.
And you take them, and the whole time you're like: Oh, my goodness! I can't
believe you're doing this.
I'm so embarrassed!
And it's... you just don't ever... they never get invited anywhere again.
Yeah.
Well, we have an example of this kind of situation.
That's right.
Here, uh, "I have a friend visiting me from the Southwest," says an attorney
that we'll call James.
He puts his foot in his mouth 10 times a day.
OK. So his friend is coming up to visit him.
And he puts his foot in his mouth.
That does not mean he's actually sticking his foot in his mouth.
It means he says things that he shouldn't say.
Yes. And James the attorney is very embarrassed by that.
An attorney means he works in law.
Friends, we have plenty more examples coming up.
But for right now, let's visit the Chat Room.
That must've been embarrassing.
You know, it reminds me of something my friend Tony did once.
He was complaining about his boss at work.
And his boss came up behind him and overheard everything.
Oh, no.
It sounds like your friend Tony really put his foot in his mouth.
What do you mean?
Well, putting your foot in your mouth means saying something embarrassing or
something that you later regret.
You know, I saw a word in a book which I think had the same meaning.
It was something like "faux pass"?
Oh, you mean faux pas!
And it's spelled F-A-U-X, space, P-A-S.
But it comes from French, so it's pronounced a little differently.
Faux pas, OK.
So does it mean the same as putting your foot in your mouth?
More or less.
A faux pas is a social mistake.
It could involve putting your foot in your mouth.
But a faux pas could also involve a physical action or even something you wear.
So what verb should I use with faux pas?
Does someone do a faux pas or make one?
We'll usually use "make." But you can also say that someone "committed" a faux
pas.
So can I call someone who commits a lot of faux pas tactless?
Yes, good use of the word, Ken.
"Tact" means social skills, especially the ability to act properly and avoid
offending people.
So someone who is tactless does not have that skill.
And what do you call someone who does have a lot of tact?
That would be tactful.
And you can use it to talk about either a tactful person or a tactful response.
I see.
You know, I try to be tactful, but when I'm speaking English, I still end up
putting my foot in my mouth a lot.
Don't worry, Ken.
It's normal to make a few mistakes when you're in a new culture.
I guess so.
Well, feel free to correct me whenever I make a faux pas.
I will, Ken.
I promise.