节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-11-07
难易度:Medium
关键字:contemplate, impulse, passionate, cooperation, commitment
Welcome back from the break, everybody.
Now I admit it.
This simple VIEWPOINTS lesson certainly cannot cover all the ingredients that
are necessary for a loving and lasting marriage.
What it can do, though, I hope, is start us talking about marriage beyond the
lovey-dovey romantic stuff towards a more balanced and realistic approach.
Let's see what kind of advice Michelle gives Kelly next as we return to their
discussion down on line 13.
Should We Get Married?
I know you're very passionate about each other.
But you should also be confident in your identity apart from Tim's influence.
I've been dating Tim for a long time, and I haven't changed myself for him.
Also, our lives are going in the same direction.
We're both finishing graduate school this year, and we work really well
together.
That's good.
Cooperation is important in marriage.
It's a problem when the husband and wife want different things and can't or
won't compromise.
We do want the same things.
We've talked about our career goals, how many children we want and even where
we'd spend the holidays.
That's why I think it's OK for us to get married.
Kelly is really thinking and contemplating about getting married to her
boyfriend Tim.
But Michelle is telling her that maybe she is a little too young.
However, we heard from Kelly that she's dated Tim for three years, and she
really thinks that they're into each other.
And they're very passionate about each other, which we'll learn about soon.
That's right.
Now... she's trying to tell Michelle that "we've been together a long time.
We've... you know, I can't see my life without him.
I can't imagine a future without him." Just very... something I think I've heard
quite a bit from a lot of my friends.
And Michelle says something that I think all the time:
I know you're very passionate about each other.
But you should also be confident in your identity apart from him.
This is something that I try to remind friends that are thinking about getting
married, it's very important to know that.
You can be passionate, but you need to have your own identity too.
The... that's right.
First, let's talk about what it means to be passionate about someone, Kaylah.
If you are "passionate" about someone or something, that means you have very
strong feelings towards them.
You really like them, or you have strong emotions when you're around them or
with whatever this thing might be.
That's right.
Now passionate, in this case, is referring to being in a relationship.
So that passion would be a love-based passion.
But you can be passionate about other things.
For example, if you are really into saving the whales, you could be very
passionate about saving whales or protecting the environment.
You could be very passionate about your studies.
You love it.
You enjoy it.
You like studying.
You like learning.
So you can be passionate about other things.
But in this case, we definitely are talking about love.
Exactly, yes.
When you're passionate about something, you spend a lot of time doing it.
And when you're passionate about someone, you spend a lot of time with them.
And so Tim is her boyfriend, she's very passionate about him.
He's very passionate about her.
But they should also be confident in their own identity.
That's right. You need to have... Michelle's telling Kelly:
You should have confidence in your identity apart from Tim's influence.
She's saying you need to have confidence, you need to be secure in your
identity, who you are, even without Tim around.
And quite often, young couples that get married, they become dependent on each
other for having true... like, meaning in who they are.
But before you get married, you need to be secure in yourself before you can
really be secured in a relationship.
This is, I think, a very important point, friends.
Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?
Then can you answer this question: Are you able to completely be yourself around
them?
That answer really should be yes.
Absolutely.
You need to have security in your own... in your own person without the other...
without the other person there.
Kelly says: Well, I've been dating Tim for a long time, and I haven't changed
myself for him.
That's very important.
Don't change who you are for someone else.
If they can't love and appreciate you for who you are as a real person, you
don't want them around.
You need to be comfortable and confident in who you are.
OK. Well, it sounds like Kelly is doing the right thing here.
She's able to be herself.
And she says also, their lives are going in the same direction.
That means they're both kind of doing similar things and they're going to be
able to stay near each other.
That's right.
Same direction means they have kind of the same goals.
She says: We're both finishing graduate school this year, and we work really
well together.
So that's good.
They know they've... they connect well.
I think, Ryan, it's a good point to be made that they're in... they're finishing
graduate school,
which means there's a level of maturity there that, you know, might not be there
in some other people.
Yeah. That's true.
Once you finish graduate school, then you're able to get jobs better, you're a
more intelligent person.
And uh, they're more educated, and they are able to work together.
And as Michelle says: That's very good.
Cooperation is important in marriage.
OK. Let's look at this word "cooperation." It's a little strange, the spelling
there.
But... "co-" the C-O at the beinging of the word here means you're doing
something together.
So this is when you work together with someone and you get something done.
So it's working together.
Really, it's an important part.
Yes, exactly.
So they're working together, it's important in marriage.
And it can also, on the opposite side, be a problem when the husband and wife
want different things and won't compromise.
That's right.
Sometimes they can't, and sometimes they won't compromise.
And to compromise means you come to some sort of agreement.
You both give a little and you both take a little so you can come to an
understanding together.
Right.
But Kelly says: Well, we do want the same things.
We've talked about career goals.
That means what they want to do with their jobs; and how many children they want
to have, and even where they would go on holidays and vacations.
And that's really important, especially for holidays that are family holidays.
You do need to talk about this before you get into a marriage relationship.
She said: That's why I think it's OK for us to get married.
They've thought about all these career, family and holiday goals, how they want
to live and work together.
That's very important.
It seems like they're taking some very good steps towards marriage.
We'll see what more Michelle has to say to her tomorrow.
But right now, let's watch some interviews of our friends' opinions about
getting married.
I think it's OK to get married at 24.
If you truly understand your boyfriend or your girlfriend,
and if you have... a plan about future, such as um, how many children you want
or do you have a goal for future,
I think it's OK for you to get start a new page of your life.
I got married when I was 24 years old.
Um, we decided to get married because we love each other.
I think it's very important.
You do not have to wait to have a lot of money or to finish your study or get a
house.
You get married because you love each other.
Also, to have a successful marriage, it's important to take care of it.
Like a garden, you have many plants, many flowers, you need to take care, to
give your time, to respect each other.
(Music).
Hi, everyone. I'm Michelle.
(Chinese).
And that's it for today's Language Tips.
I'll see you soon.
Bye-bye.
Thank you, Michelle.
You know, it might be a little frustrating when you ask a friend "How do I know
he or she is the right one for me?" and then they answer: You just know.
That's not really helpful, right?
Well, on a practical level, one of the best ways to know is by asking questions.
Check out books like "100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say I DO." If
you need help getting started, check books out like that.
There are plenty of them.
Now friends, Michelle gives Kelly one of the all-time best suggestions for
marriage.
Join us tomorrow and find out what it is.
And until then, I hope all of you have a great Wednesday.
Take care.