节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-11-08
难易度:Medium
关键字:secure, exposure, backpacking, sacrifice
Welcome back from the break, everyone.
Now if you're having second thoughts about when to get married or who you want
to get married to, here's a suggestion:
Ask your friends and close family members what they think.
Why?
Because they're on the outside looking in, so to speak.
So they can see things you might never have seen before and offer a different
perspective.
Now let's wrap up this conversation about marriage with Michelle's answer to the
question "Do you have any regrets?" on line 20.
Should We Get Married?
I don't regret marrying my husband.
But now I realize I missed out on some things.
Once I wanted to go backpacking in Europe but couldn't because my husband had to
work.
That's too bad.
Oh... it's just different.
Being married means considering someone else's needs, not just your own.
You need to recognize that being married means you will have to make sacrifices.
I understand.
Thanks for your advice.
I think we need to talk some more.
Sure. I'm here whenever you need me.
Kelly is 24 years old, and she and her boyfriend are contemplating getting
married.
But as Kelly has been talking with Michelle, she's discovered Michelle thinks
she's too young and doesn't yet have enough experience and should probably wait.
But what happened right before the break, Kaylah?
Well, Ryan, right for the break we asked Michelle... we pointed out that she got
married at the same age that Kelly is now and asked her:
Do you have any regrets about getting married?
And we learned that word "regret" means you wish you had not done something.
Now I'm really hoping she doesn't say she has any regrets.
Yeah. Well, she does say that, Kaylah.
She says, "I don't have any regrets about marrying my husband," which is good.
That's a good thing.
Yeah.
That's a really good thing.
You don't ever want to regret marrying the person you do.
No. And I mean, when you marry someone, you commit to them, which means you
promise to stay there.
So even if there are regrets, you're supposed to work through those in marriage.
But here we see Michelle does say: Now I realize I missed out on some things.
So she doesn't regret being married or marrying the man that she did, but she
does realize she missed out on some things.
Now "to miss out on something" means you don't have the opportunity or the
chance to experience or do something.
All right.
So she really had a few things she wanted to do but she couldn't do them because
she got married at a younger age.
So she says: Once I wanted to go backpacking in Europe, but I couldn't because
my husband had to work.
OK.
She's pointing out something she missed out on.
Now she says she wanted to go backpacking in Europe, which actually is a dream
of a lot of young adults.
I know I would love to go backpacking in Europe.
Now to "backpack" means to travel but in a very specific way.
That's right.
When you are backpacking, you carry all of your belongings,
all of your clothes and all the tools and things that you will use in your
travels on your back in a backpack, and you travel from place to place.
Now quite often you either stay in a tent like camping style or you stay in
hostels, which are cheap living places so you...
It's the... really the cheapest way to travel.
You travel by bus and train instead of by airplane, and you stay in cheap or
inexpensive areas.
So this really is an adventure that many young adults love to do.
I know I would love to do that too.
But if I were married, I might not be able to do that because my wife might not
be able to go.
Or if... if you were married, maybe your wife or husband would not be able to go
with you, so you couldn't go.
And that's what she says: My husband had to work.
So even though she had the time off and could, no, she didn't get to because her
husband wasn't able to go along.
Now you might think: Well, just go without him.
Well, that's not what marriage is about.
Marriage is about experiencing life together.
Exactly. So she would end up missing out on that opportunity.
And Kelly says that's too bad.
"That's too bad." That means: Oh, I'm sorry. That's unfortunate.
I'm sorry you didn't get to try that.
So Michelle responds with: Oh, you know, it's just different.
Yeah, not really too bad, it's just different.
Being married means considering someone else's needs, not just your own.
This is very important to think about.
When you're getting married, you're stopping thinking in "I" and "me" and what I
want, what's best for me.
And you're thinking what's best for us.
We are a unit now.
What can we do together?
So you have to think what's more important for the other person instead of just
focusing on yourself.
Right. In fact, Kaylah, I believe that in marriage, you're supposed to really
try and focus on the other person's needs more than your own.
That's important.
She says you need to recognize that being married means you will have to make
sacrifices.
Now this is an important word.
You do make sacrifices in most relationships at some point.
But marriage is about committing to these sacrifices.
Exactly. A "sacrifice" is something that you give up in order to try and help
someone.
Usually you only sacrifice something that is valuable to you.
That's right.
You... sacrifice is not saying: Oh, you can eat my broccoli.
I don't like broccoli, you can have it.
That's not a sacrifice.
A sacrifice is saying, "Sure, you can have my dessert," even though you want you
dessert.
That's a small sacrifice.
For example, Michelle's big sacrifice was she didn't get to go to Europe to
backpack.
Exactly.
So she really wanted to do that, but it's more important for her to stay with
her husband.
And so she sacrificed her trip to Europe to be with her husband.
So I... I think Kelly is beginning to at least get a little bit of understanding
here.
She says: I understand. I know what that means.
She says, you know, thanks for the advice.
I think we need to talk some more.
So maybe they won't just rush into getting married right now.
It is important.
You need to think twice, three, four times about this before you get into it.
I really believe that, friends, you should spend a lot of time thinking and
contemplating long before you decide to get married.
Don't just do it on impulse.
Michelle says: Sure. I'm here whenever you need me.
So Michelle is a really good friend.
Ryan, what are your thoughts?
What do you think?
Do you have married friends?
Actually, Kaylah, most, if not all, of my friends are now married, and they got
married at a very young age.
And well, they are unable to do the things that I'm able to do.
That's true.
You live here overseas, and they all live in America.
That's right.
They don't have the opportunities that I have because they sacrifice for each
other.
So if they'd waited a little longer, maybe they could have done more by now.
But maybe if you are in a good relationship, if you've really taken the time,
maybe you are ready.
It's really an individual basis.
So make sure you find people you trust their advice and talk with them.
Right now let's watch some more interviews.
I think that marriage is a gift from God.
We can learn many things from marriage, like patience, communication and love,
and we can share everything with each other.
So if I met my Mr. Right at age 24, I won't mind to get married early.
I used to think that I want to get married by 24 or 25.
But recently, as I strengthen relationship with God and as I get to know myself
better, I think 24 or 25 might not be an appropriate age for me.
Thinking on the circumstances, if I get married by 24, I might not have the time
to build my career,
and I might not even be mature enough to handle the challenges that I may face
during married life.
So I think for now it's better for me to marry at... by 27 or 28.
I think it will allow me more time to even strengthen my relationship with God
and get ready for marriage.
And I think it really depends on many factors like family background, desire to
build a career, and most importantly, your relationship with God.
So the ideal age to get married for everyone is different.
And ultimately, I think if you're sure that the marriage that you are entering
is a godly one, and that you are reassured by your family, friends,
and you have been reassured by God especially, I think you are all ready to get
in... get married. Yeah.
(Chinese).
And it was great to learn English with you today.
Don't forget to come back next time.
Bye-bye.
We appreciate those tips, Michelle.
Thank you again for those.
Now in our dialogue, Michelle offers some good things to think about before
getting married.
First, she says realize your identity as an individual before you become part of
a couple.
Next, for a marriage to work, cooperation and compromise need to be in the
equation.
Then, don't rush it.
And finally, don't be afraid to spend time apart as it's a good way to grow and
strengthen the relationship.
Friends, remember, time and effort you put into something now will pay off in
the future.
And I'm talking about your English.
So go out and use it.
And then join us tomorrow when we talk about getting hacked.
Take care.