节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-10-29
难易度:Low
关键字:guilty, turn somebody down, remark, regret, fundraising
Hi, everybody.
Thanks for joining us here at Studio Classroom Worldwide.
My name is Steve.
Thanks again for joining us.
You would think the English word "no" would be easy to say.
But for many people, saying this simple two-letter word is actually pretty
difficult.
Maybe you are like this.
You don't like saying no because you're afraid of appearing rude or you're
afraid of making someone angry, thereby creating conflict.
Or perhaps you don't say no because you fear it will close the door to other
opportunities in the future.
In other words, if you say no too many times, people will eventually stop
asking.
Well, let's open our magazines to page 48 because to keep a balanced life, it's
important to know how to say no.
(Music).
How to Say No.
You can say no and still be nice.
A friend or family member asks you to do a favor for them.
If you say no, do you feel guilty or selfish?
Many people do, so they say yes.
That just increases their stress level and often leads to bad feelings.
So learn to say no nicely!
Maybe someone asks you to help with a fundraising event for your school.
You don't have time.
But before turning them down, say something about the event's importance.
Say, "That's a great cause," or "You have an important goal." That way, the
person sees you value the project even if you cannot help.
Hello, friends.
Thank you so much for joining us right here in the studio.
My name is Kaylah.
And I'm here with Ryan today.
Ryan, are you excited to be at Studio Classroom?
No!
Really?
No...
Did you make that giant "NO" sign that you're holding?
No.
OK. Why are you holding that?
Well, friends, we're learning today about how to say no.
You can say no and still be nice.
Oh, you can say no and still be nice.
You might think it's mean to say no because you don't want to turn someone down.
But friends, we're here today to show you how to do that nicely.
That's right.
Friends, we see a story here.
A friend or family member might ask you to do a favor for them.
Hmm. To do a favor means you do something for them because they don't have time
or the ability to do it.
So you do something to be kind.
Yeah. You might think, well, if you say no to doing that favor for them, then
you might feel guilty or selfish.
Ooh, I understand this feeling - guilt.
When you feel "guilty," that means you feel guilt.
And that means you feel a bit worried or unhappy because you think you did
something wrong.
Now friends, saying no doesn't mean you did something wrong.
Yeah. And that's actually what we're going to talk about today is: Should you
feel guilty if you say no?
Are you really being selfish, which means you're just thinking about yourself?
Hmm, can you be selfish?
Well, many people do think that, so often they just say yes.
You might remember that movie called The Yes Man.
But friends, does really make you happy?
I don't know, Kaylah, I used to be like this.
I said yes to everything because I did not want to upset people.
Now I remember this time in Ryan's life, and it definitely increased his stress
level and made him have some really strange and bad feelings.
Yeah. I had a lot of bad feelings.
I was really confused and really stressed.
I thought there was so much to do, I felt worried.
And it started to even affect my health.
That's right.
Friends, you can't overdo your stress levels.
So learn to say no nicely.
I think it's important to say no nicely.
Say it gently and in the right way.
And we'll show you how to do that.
OK, let's look at some examples of situations you might be in.
OK.
Maybe somebody asks you to help with a fundraising event for your school.
OK, now you're working at a fundraising event.
"Fundraising" is when you try to raise money for a certain event or a certain
use, usually to try and help something.
But fundraising is important, Ryan.
Can I really say no?
Ooh, that's the question here.
Is it really something you should do maybe if you really don't want to do it or
if you don't believe in it?
Or maybe you don't have time?
Maybe you think it is a good thing but don't have time to help.
So before turning them down, say something about the event's importance.
OK. Now this is a good tip.
Now you want to turn them down, which means you say no.
If you "turn something down," then you do not agree to do it.
OK, so you say no.
To turn down means to say no.
But you want to be nice and you want them to know you think it is important.
So say something like: That's a great cause, or: You have an important goal.
OK. Now we're talking about a fundraiser.
So a fundraiser means you're trying to earn money for things like a cause or a
goal.
So you agree with them first; let them know you do think that what they're doing
is good.
So by saying, "That's a great cause..." Now a cause is something that you agree
with and are working towards fixing, something that you value.
Exactly. And of course, a goal is something that you have set for yourself.
And that is also a reason people might have a fundraiser.
So you're being nice to them, you're letting them know that you do agree with
what they're doing.
You think they're doing a great thing, but later you're going to tell them
you're not going to help.
Well, that way, the person sees you already value the project even if you cannot
help.
So friends, if you're just too busy, even if you like what they're doing, you
might not have time.
So you can tell them you think their doing is great but you just can't help this
time.
Right. But you do value their project.
Friends, if you value something, that means you think it is very important.
So you think what they're doing is great even if you can not help.
I think it's important here, Kaylah.
We see you can't help, it's not that you just don't want to.
That's right.
Now that's not the only time we say no.
It's not just when people ask us to do something.
And we'll look at another example of how to say no nicely after we visit the
Chat Room.
Excuse me, Ken.
Do you have time?
Let's see, it's almost 10:30.
No, Ken. I didn't ask you for the time.
I asked if you had time.
If I had time?
I don't get it.
I can tell.
Let's go to Doris for an explanation on the difference between these two
questions.
OK.
If someone comes up to you and asks: Do you have the time?
He or she is asking you what the current time is according to your watch.
The polite thing to do is to tell them the current time.
This is quite different from someone asking you: Do you have time?
Which is another way of asking you if you are available to do something.
OK, now I get it.
You want to see if I have time right now.
Sure! What can I do for you?
Great.
Take these three books and put them on that top shelf over there.
Oh, sure.
Bryan, speaking of the time, somebody said to me the other day that I didn't
give him the time of day.
But the funny thing was he never asked for the time of day to begin with.
OK. Let me ask you this, Ken.
That person isn't really a friend of yours, is he?
Hey, how do you know that?
I usually avoid speaking to him because I find him pretty annoying.
See? That's why you said you didn't give him the time of day.
That's an idiom that means refusing to talk to someone because you view that
person as unimportant.
So it has nothing to do with asking for the time?
No, but that's where the idiom originated.
You refuse to speak to a person even when he's just asking you for the time.
I see.
Hmm, maybe I should give him a call and apologize to him.
Maybe you should.
So do you have the time now?
Yes, just a moment.