节目资讯
刊物:空中英语教室
日期:2012-10-29
难易度:Low
关键字:guilty, turn somebody down, remark, regret, fundraising
Welcome back from the break, everyone.
Many people are afraid to say no because they're afraid of looking like the "bad
guy." It turns out,
though, that people don't remember you saying no as much as how you say no.
That's right.
You can say no and still be nice.
Let's continue to learn how as we wrap up the lesson on line 14.
(Music).
How to Say No.
When you say no, make kind remarks.
Say, "Thank you for asking, but I can't it's time," or "I regret having to say
no." You can give the person other ideas.
For example, your friend asks you to take care of her dog for a few days.
You can't, but you know another person who loves dogs.
Suggest them instead.
Then your friend can get the help she needs.
Just learn to say no - nicely.
You'll be glad you did.
OK, friends.
We've seen ways that you can say no nicely.
For example, if your friend is having a fundraiser, then first you should let
them know something nice before you say no,
such as telling them that they're working for a great cause and you really like
their goal, and then say no.
That's right.
Now Ryan said to tell them something nice.
But friends, make sure it's relevant.
Can you imagine just telling them that it's, "Oh, I like your hair today. No!"
That's not saying no nicely.
You need to comment on what they've been doing.
And also friends, make sure it is true.
Don't lie to your friends if you really don't think what they're doing is good.
That's right.
There are other ways to be kind.
You can start off by using one of our next examples.
That's right.
When you say no, make kind remarks.
A "remark" is a phrase that you say about something.
OK. So maybe you don't actually like their cause or maybe you don't want to help
this time,
and you don't want to lie by saying that you think it's great because you don't,
so what can you say?
Well, you can state your "opinion" here - that is a remark - and you can say:
Well, thank you for asking, but I can't this time.
Or you can say: I regret having to say no.
That's right.
"Regret" here means that you feel sorry for not being able to do something or
not achieving a goal in the way that you wanted to.
Now I remember a funny TV show where a friend wanted to tell her other friends
she did not want to do something, and she said:
Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
OK, so maybe that's not the right way to say it.
It's not exactly nice to just tell them you don't want to.
That's right.
That's a funny example.
But these are better examples to say I regret to tell you that I can't this
time.
Now to regret something means that you feel bad about it or you're sorry you
can't help out.
Yeah. You honestly feel bad that you're not going to be able to help them.
So that's OK.
If it's going to cause you more stress, if it's going to make you worry, that's
actually a good reason not to do something.
Just let them know: I wish I could, but I can't.
But also don't lie here, friends.
Don't tell them you wish you could if you don't want to.
Use the first statement, say: Thank you for asking, but I can't this time.
Don't give them false hope.
You don't want to lie to your friends.
You need to be honest all the time.
It's important to be honest with friends.
It's always important to let them know who you really are.
Don't be fake around them.
That's right.
So you can say no nicely.
You can do this with kindness.
Well, another way to do that is you can give them... idea, another idea for that
person to use.
For example, your friend asks you to take care of her dog for a few days.
Have you had this happen to you before?
I have. I have had a friend ask me.
Now quite often I do say yes because I love dogs.
But you know, sometimes maybe you're really busy or you won't get home in time
to let them go outside to go to the bathroom.
Yeah. And dogs take a lot of work.
You have to give them food, you have to give them water and take them outside.
And if it's over a few days, well, maybe you won't necessarily have the time to
do that.
So this time you can't, but you know another person who just loves dogs just as
much.
Yeah. So instead of just saying "No, I won't help you," and then being done with
it, you can suggest that other person help instead.
That's right.
So maybe say: I'm sorry I can't this time, but I know Ryan loves taking care of
dogs.
Hey!
Now you can "suggest." That means that you offer a different alternative, a
different idea.
That's right, so suggest to that person instead.
Suggest them instead.
Now "instead" means as a substitution for you.
Yeah, to replace something.
Then this way, if you do this, your friend can get the help that she needs, and
also your other friend who loves dogs will have a lot of fun.
That's right.
So you help out and say no nicely.
So you just need to learn to say no - nicely.
Exactly. Friends, this is our Grammar on the Go tip.
Let's go visit Liz.
Hello, friends.
How are you doing today?
My name is Liz.
And it's time for Grammar on the Go.
So how hard is it for you to say no?
Well, our writer gives us several suggestions on how we can say no.
And in conclusion she writes: Just learn to say no - nicely.
That's our Grammar Tip sentence.
For those of you who have your magazines with you, notice how there is a dash
between "no" and "nicely".
This is often found in informal writing and is used to introduce an additional
or extra idea, usually the idea is not expected.
So in the case of today's sentence, it sounds like the writer is just saying:
"Just learn to say no," but then she adds on the adverb "nicely." And this extra
adverb at the end of the sentence adds a bit of humor.
Also, when you're reading this out loud, be sure to pause when you come up to
this dash.
OK. Let's have a look at some example sentences:
I'm very certain that Mr. Chen is coming to the meeting - at least, I think he
is.
Or: You should always do what your team leader tells you to do - unless he is
not here.
So give this a try next time when you're writing and you want to introduce a...
surprising or unexpected information to your sentence.
And that's all the time we have for today.
This is Liz with Grammar on the Go signing off.
Bye-bye.
OK. Well, I hope you've learned how to say no nicely today because you'll be
glad you did.
It's a good thing to learn.
Don't be afraid about upsetting people.
Just be honest with them and say no nicely.
Friends, you will be glad that you did.
That's right.
So friends, we're not telling you to be rude or to be disrespectful, but we're
telling you to be honest and to be kind.
So friends, learn to say no nicely.
Yep. You won't regret it.
You'll be glad you did.
Friends, we hope you've learned a lot about being honest.
Now let's go watch the skit.
Um... hi, Jeff.
Can you do me a favor?
Oh, no.
My friend wants a favor.
If I say no, I'll feel guilty and selfish.
Please.
But if I say yes, I'll have stress.
I'll have bad feelings.
Um, you remember the fundraiser at school?
Oh, no.
She wants help with the fundraiser.
I know! I'll turn her down by saying nice remarks.
The fundraiser! What an important cause.
Yes. I'm glad you value our school.
I do.
Thank you for asking, but I can't help with the fundraiser.
Oh... no, no, no. I don't need help with the fundraiser, no.
You don't? Then what's the favor?
Well, you see, I won a prize at the fundraiser.
I won a trip.
So you're going on a trip!
Congratulations!
I'll be away for seven days, and I'm just wondering if maybe you could um...
Let me guess - take care of the dog while she's away?
No way! I'll say no nicely.
Oh, sorry. I regret that I don't have time.
Well, it's only seven days and it will be fun!
Fun for who, the dog?
I know. I'll give her another idea.
Hey, why don't you ask Bob?
Bob's not too busy.
Uh... well, ask Bob... but I was thinking...
Just call Bob.
Yeah, call.
All right, I'll... I'll call Bob, but I was...
Hello, Bob.
Yeah.
Well, I have a favor to ask.
You see, I won a trip to Hawaii.
Can you go with me? I have two free tickets!
A trip to Hawaii? Ah, no!
Hi, everyone. I'm Michelle.
(Chinese).
And that's all the time we have for today.
Keep up the good work and I'll see you tomorrow.
Everybody, please do your friends, your family and yourself a favor and learn
how to say no in a nice way.
Learning to say no will help you lessen stress and frustration, and it will free
up your schedule for those you love.
Remember, when you do say no, be brief, be honest, be respectful.
And for those people who just won't take no for an answer, be ready to repeat
the word: No, no, no.
OK, everyone.
Please join us tomorrow when we begin a tour of some very cool castles.
We'll see you then.